Walking in the Fullness of our Gifts and Calling
This morning I got to speak to a room full of people just like me; dreamers who’ve been given creative gifts and want to know how to make it all happen. The key point I shared with them? It’s not about making it all happen. It’s a lesson I’ve spent many years learning.
You see, I’m good at a lot of things. I’m not bragging, just being honest. I happen to have been blessed with high left AND right brain functionality. Unfortunately, I’m often so busy using the left half (the productive part) that I completely ignore the right half (the creative part). I’ve been known to do this for weeks, months, years even.
And then a day like today wakes me up.
As I stood on that stage and shared God’s truth, it was the first time in awhile that I felt like I was truly operating in my giftings. I was sharing truth God has shown me over the years, in a way that he has uniquely gifted me to do. And I loved every minute of it, including talking with people one-on-one afterward.
This latter part used to be a struggle for me, because in earlier years I was less integrated with myself (this makes sense to those of us who have lived it…), and I was terrified that the rift between my on-stage persona and the “real life” me would disappoint people. And would leave me feeling lonely. So instead, I kept my distance. And guess what? Felt even lonelier…
I’m grateful for wise counsel over the years which has helped me over this hump, because today all I could think about was how good it was to be broken and spilled out on that stage, not for my own vain pursuits, but for the sake of The Call. I was operating fully in my giftings, and I can’t remember when I’ve felt so alive.
As I left the speaking engagement and headed to my next appointment, the energy inside of me was intense. I put on one of my favorite cd’s; I needed something with a beat that matched the excitement stirring in my soul. After a few songs, the adrenaline starting to diminish, I felt tears come as I thought back through the morning – the way I had felt so alive, the way I was so present – not vying for ANYTHING other than to just join God in a movement of his own. The only movement that really matters.
As if this wasn’t enough, my next appointment was to hear the nearly-finished production of a new song I’ve written, “More Than a Number.” (I will be performing this live for the first time at Girls of Grace this weekend – can’t wait!.) I walked in as the producers were listening to it and when it got to the end I literally screamed with joy! (They were a little freaked out but I didn’t care.) For years I have loved music, but for years I have put it on the back burner, so afraid of not doing well that I’ve not done it at all. Another gift squandered, yet redeemed. In moments like today.
As I head into the afternoon of what has already been an incredibly exciting and fulfilling day, it is with a grateful heart and an overwhelming understanding that THIS is how we are to live: walking in our giftings, whatever they may be. Operating at our fullest potential, as determined NOT by what we produce, but who we are while we’re producing it.
Whatever your gift(s) may be, please hear me say this today: they are not going anywhere! Even if your dream has died, God will bring it back to life. Lean into Him, and be part of his movement. And then give him the glory when the dream comes true.
Today I was me. More fully and completely than I have been in a while. I was brave, and bold, and beautiful. And it sure felt good…
“For the gifts and callings of God are without repentance; never canceled or rescinded.” Rom. 11:29